Living in Peru : your everyday companion

Living in Peru
Larry J. Pitman

I just finished listening to a wonderful rendition by Norah Jones of that country classic “Cold, Cold Heart.”As I listened to the song about a cold hearted lover, a parallel thought crept into my mind.  I have often been told here in Peru and other parts of Latin America that gringos are cold. That is the stereotype that we are fixed with.  We are cold hearted and make our decisions based on facts and logic rather than feelings. Also we do things in an unfriendly way.

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Larry, i'd bet money you have also failed to hug and kiss your father on the cheek or the forehead when you see him. (now or even as a young man).

 Peruvians, do demostrate love and affection not just to women relatives but also to male ones...this is something i haven't seen in the U.S. It's almost like they put their manhood in jeopardy (?)

You said:" We (gringos) are cold hearted and make our decisions based on facts and logic rather than feelings...." I wouldn't like my father to think i missed hugging and kissing him for "lack or abundance of fact or logic".

Hello, Larry.
You are not cold heart, just different. I think gringos are not cold, I think they are very emotional. They are warm people, but in a different way. Honestly, I think gringos are nice people. Just be yourself wherever you go. 

Hi Larry
    Last year I spent four months in Miraflores,the best time of my life. This 'Cold Gringo ' subject was brought up numerous times. We are culturally different,but I think the main difference is the way we were reared in each family atmosphere.
    I enjoyed the warmth of the Peruvians I met, I just had to learn the customs. People are people where-ever they go,some are more outgoing and some are not.I think we could learn from the Peruvians in this respect,again,they could be lots more respect on the road as drivers too :).

Hello Larry,

I live in Cleveland, Oh and I an am Irish American.  My son married a young woman who was raised in Lima.  My husband and my children visited Lima and spent 2 weeks in Peru.  I was impressed by the warmness of Peruvian people in the US and Peru.
 But it felt strangely familiar....I remembered that my family was like that when I was a child (1950's-60's).  I was taught to hug and kiss each person. I was taught never to eat in front of someone unless you would share. I was to do things because they were right...and if your heart told it was wrong it probably was..

I thought why don't I do those things anymore?  Are we too busy? too isolated from family and friends?  I have started to do those acts of kindness that make each person they are valued...it's a great feeling 

I don't believe it is fair to say that because our gringo ways are different, that we are cold.  I personally don't like to get "up close and personal" with a roomful of people I don't really know.  I would rather receive a genuine wave and a warm smile from someone across the room.

And can someone please explain to me why it seems cold for someone to go to the dentist or doctor alone?  Is it really expected for both spouses to take time away from work to attend one appointment?  Am I guilty of using logic?

Nicky,someone started calling you "Nickycita", i'm sure 'cause the WARM affection and friendship towards you. I see you are glad and humble to use your name that way.


You are right, in the U.S., we don't choose to accompany anyone to the doctors. We rather stay at work or home. That's the way we have been preconditioned....and, how about a kiss to your husband and teenaged kids when coming home?... Can that be a possible logic?

How 'COLD' are we ???......

Well... it is one logic reason for that...!!   We must remember that Latin America as much as most of the cultures in the mediterranean sea coast have something in common...!!  Latin.  Remember... Italians, French, Spanish, Morocco, Portugal.... etc.   All have the tendency to hug, kiss when day meet someone or in a party or even in a business meeting...
It is the Latin culture, and we are going to find that all over South American. In some places, more grounded than others. 
So... yes, you show care and love when you go to the doctor together, or any other activity that may have the remote association with a person or a group of people.
I had a great time in Peru and your doors will be open radder fast when you adopt some of their behaviors for business meeting and other trade activities.
GG.
Montreal, Canada

I really am trying to gain a genuine understanding here about accompanying others to their doctor's appts. I agree that one must adopt their host country's behaviors to become immersed in their culture, which is the best part of an overseas assignment. But this one just puzzles me and is new to me after two years in a Latin country. I'm just trying to imagine telling my boss I need time off - not for me, but to go with a friend to her dentist?! I don't think that is an option, let alone a choice. Oh, and I ALWAYS kiss my husband when he leaves and comes home, no matter what country I'm in! :-)

"LOL", this time, will stand for "Lots of Logic"....?

 Most of us are too 'busy' for feelings. There are more feelings given to the way we look, ("how do i look?!!") than the sharing of warmth to friends and family. "We" will give more importance showing up at the gym on the same time every day than a moment of affection to family at the same time every day. And if you don't believe that...go thru your wallet or purse, see how many membership cards we carry compared to photos of love ones or birth dates of friends and family. How much time we spend on the phone/internet comunicating with people we don't know,work related or not,than calling a friend,aunt or cousin we haven't spoken with for awhile...which i just reminded myself...I got to go :)! 

Happy THANKSGIVING ! 

Larry, Larry..if you are a "gringo", I cannot undestand what´s a cold hearted.
Greeting!!
Oscar Boggio
Granada, Spain.