Living in Peru : your everyday companion

A well tends to do what it says on the tin, and, while I recognize this simple but ingenious contraption as being a literal lifesaver to the famished hordes of the African continent, it is scarcely a thing of aesthetic beauty. Which begs the question. Who would rate a well in the first place? A rigorously conducted journalistic investigation (Google) did reveal the existence of a British Water Tower Appreciation Society, but, when it came to their lower lying cousins, the fount was bone dry. So, if the world of aquatic extraction structures lacks so much as an anorakish subculture in its honour, who on earth else is there around to wax lyrical on the things?

Lonely Planet bashing is a pursuit in which it is all too tempting to indulge, so expect more of the same crass generalizations here. Its hemp-clad authors, who invariably view the world from beneath plumes of marijuana smoke, splatter most every sunset, secluded beach or indigenous tribespeople with their superlative diarrhoea of “awesome”s, “incredible”s, “stunning”s, “beautiful”s, “mindblowing”s and “bodacious”s. What’s more, the population of any given developing nation, be it Azerbaijan or Zimbabwe, will be considered among the friendliest on the planet, in defiance of their incalculable daily struggle for existence, naturally. And, so as not to dupe the discerning traveller with a glib two-dimensional appraisal, it is usually mentioned that they are hospitable, ready to welcome you with open arms, courteous and eager to impress. They are generally resilient and may even be indomitable, but don’t take life too seriously. The tacit moral dictum here is that those in developed, Anglophone nations are too busy gorging themselves on the fat of the land to abide by such fundamental human principals.

But I digress. My diatribe may be gratuitously exaggerated, but what I really mean to address is the kind of facile journalism that results in wells being described as overrated without due explanation.

My iconoclastic attacks on the sacred tome of the travelling community cannot be attributed to mere churlishness. Perish the thought! On the contrary, a fleeting intermission of unstinting reliance on the backpacker’s bible proved to be such an unmitigated disaster that I could well have gone hungry for a night. Such a fate almost befell me upon visiting Tingo Maria with my girlfriend a few months ago. I resolved to end my long-running stand-off with the guidebook’s restaurant recommendations, lest for my impudence I had been depriving myself of some peerless shoestring gastronomic gems. Instead, what transpired from Lonely Planet’s Tingo Maria eatery hotlist were the mandatory Chifa and polleria entries, as well as three more which had long since ceased to exist. Now ravenous and seething with bilious rage, we retired to a plain, ordinary, non-Lonely Planet approved restaurant from where we watched an arian looking couple tooing and froing in befuddled pursuit of the same establishments serving up wild geese. Lonely Planet had claimed another two scalps. They too were to retreat, vanquished and broken, to unrecommended culinary anonymity.

Now, though I’m aware that businesses in Peru are often fly by night affairs, this disappearance of three out of five ‘favoured’ Lonely Planet restaurants a little more than a year after the guidebook’s publication date seems to point to a sloppiness on the part of the authors that would make any Las Malvinas stall holder wince. Aren’t these top rated places supposed to stand the test of time after all?

An equally glib attitude is in evidence elsewhere. In anticipation of finding fuel to fire cheap accusations of political correctness, I turned my attention to the Gay and Lesbian Traveller’s Section. Instead of encountering a paragon of free-spirited tolerance, however, the content was surprisingly blasé. “Few men in Peru are exclusively gay,” it spouts with presumed authority, and, with great fatuousness, that “lesbians are a largely ignored segment of the population.”

If we are to assume that the book’s general content is non-sexuality specific, why should it be that gays and lesbians warrant their own section, whilst the needs of heterosexual travellers go ignored?

I am, of course being facetious, though such a fixation with ‘responsible tourism’ often appears to constitute part of a ‘courteousness-at-all-costs’ drive that casts asunder all that is vibrant and idiosyncratic with its bludgeon of insipidness. “Peruvians are polite, indeed, rather formal in their interactions,” the reader is instructed. This is no doubt inspired by truth, though it ignores the vast tracts of Peruvian society who specialise in the bestowal of brutally forthright designations to complete strangers (in which a generously proportioned taxi driver will become Flacito, a bouncy ball vendor of remotely Asiatic appearance is rendered China, a street dwelling odd-jobber Loco etc).

This cacophony of playground style name calling forms part of the rich tapestry of Limenian life, and marks a refreshing departure for a political-correctness saturated gringo such as I. It is surely not disrespectful to treat such modes of interaction with honesty, and thereby provide a more rounded portrait of the culture in question. What we are given instead in the guidebook is perhaps more befitting of an 18th century Conquistador-era Lima.

After all, an approach thus sanitised can be impractical as well as inaccurate. The appendix on introductory Spanish is apparently catered towards ensuring that the monolingual traveller-type can ape the knightly conversational habits of the gallant locals. Thus it is that we are taught how to say quiseria (I would like) when anything is to be solicited. Not only is this an excessively complicated grammatical construction for the absolute beginner, it also fails to square with how Peruvians really talk in their exchanges with one another, which, as I have indicated, is generally more direct.

Elsewhere in the Lonely Planet book, a finger-waggingly paternalistic tone is assumed. The prospective day-tripper is warned not to “defecate in the ruins.” This is a careless editorial oversight, given that one in possession of the requisite level of civilization to read is unlikely to have trouble identifying appropriate locations for self-relief.

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8 Comments

# whilt says :
12 May, 2009 [ 01:41 ]

Please, learn how to speak Spanish before criticising Lonely Planet's phraselist.

# Kenny Hermse says :
13 May, 2009 [ 08:08 ]

whilt, I already speak Spanish to a reasonable level, which gives me some qualification to criticize.  Hence, based on my personal experience of having learned some of the language, I feel that the subjunctive tense is inappropriate for someone with no background knowledge.  My main complaint, however, was that such a request would be culturally inappropriate.  And yes, I have been to Peru and indeed still live here.

# Scott says :
14 May, 2009 [ 11:04 ]

Kenny, I found your article to be a surprisingly pleasant read. It has been a while since I started reading something and found myself looking forward more to how you would write the next paragraph versus what you would bash (although both aspects are entertaining). I think you should seriously consider writing your own guidebook to Peru, you could get some help with the compilation and confirmation on what is recommended (and what restaurants are still open) from your local friends and the readers of Living in Peru who I would think are scattered across Peru and actually living here. I will volunteer if you would like any info on Cajamarca and area.

# Kenny Hermse says :
14 May, 2009 [ 11:58 ]

Scott, thanks very much for the comment.  I´ve been teaching English in Peru till now but I´d like to concentrate more on writing and a guidebook´s certainly something I would consider.  Are you currently living in Cajamarca?

# Scott says :
14 May, 2009 [ 04:15 ]

Yes, I live in Baños del Inca.

# bj@livinginperu.com says :
14 May, 2009 [ 08:40 ]

Scott,
If you're interested in writing some stories for LivinginPeru.com about Cajamarca, please do!  Send them to me (with one or two pictures) at bj@livinginperu.com and I'll publish them!
Ben

# Tracie says :
18 May, 2009 [ 09:25 ]

i have lived in peru for over 5 years, and do not agree entirely with what you have said against the lonely planet book.

I have seen several times people (whether peruvian or not does not matter) who sufficiently are able to read, who are deficating in public areas that are not for doing so. Please don't assume that just because a person can read that they have the self-control to go to the appropriate location.

# Craig says :
6 June, 2009 [ 05:45 ]

My man..having lived with you abroad in Asia and previously in Peru..I can say this is a subject you've had in mind for a long time.  I thoroughly enjoyed your assessment. We've discussed on numerous occassions during our travels together the dissatisfaction with certain aspects of the lonely planet - I'm glad to see you've been able to put in print.  I do miss Peru - quite frequently - and I hope to see you soon.  Continue to write and submit as much as you can.  You have a gift.  

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