1. A little kid sends a letter to Santa that says: Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas.’ Santa writes back, Dear Timmy send me your mommy.
2. My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
3. A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers’ attention, he is yelling, Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!’ A pastor hears this and asks, Why are you calling them ‘dam fish’?’ The boy responds, Because I caught these fish at the local dam.’ The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, I didn’t know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way.’ He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, That’s the spirit, Dad! Now pass the fcking potatoes! It’s a big crowd to please, so this week Mr. Living in Peru selected three jokes just for you.